The Fairness Factor

6am at the ExCel Centre

The growing backlash against unoriginal, repetitive talent hunt programming came to a head in the UK last Christmas when Facebookers took the power back and seized the festive number one from the sweaty desperate hands of Joe McElderry and Simon Cowell.

Yet, since it’s creation 6 years ago (following on from the near identical plethora of shows like Fame Academy, Pop Idol, Pop Stars:The Rivals etc…) applications of hopeful wannabes has seen a meteoric increase.

This year my younger sister was one of them.

Letters from the production company warn auditionees to be there before 8am or risk being turned away. From all corners of Britain people come chasing the X Factor dream - A 19 year old Vietnamese boy (singing Westlife), an Israeli ex-pat on Valium (Shania Twain) and a 26 year old primary teacher, Jenny (Avril Lavinge) from Harrow.



Unfortunately the show is heavily based on profiling - I bet you already subconsciously decided who of the above will fall at the first hurdle, I know I did. It is also obvious members of the production teams have briefs of types of people to select. Like affirmative action, the show has a requirement to put through 3 of each four categories to the final twelve regardless of who is the best to a detrimental outcome. This year a disproportionate amount of over 30s passed the first round (perhaps in an attempt to look fair to those criticising the format being aimed towards a younger audience).

Everyone who awoke before the crack of dawn that bank holiday Sunday to venture bleary eyed across the E16 to try their luck was an individual - unique and dedicated. So with this determination and perseverance evident, surely they'd want more - deserve more- than the processed tripe that Cowell and his crew churn out year after year to saturate the market. Yet this was Jenny's second attempt at progressing through the various stages in hope of making the big time.

The TV image of Simon Cowell and the gang hand picking the finalists from an array of hopefuls who started off on an equal footing is merely an illusion. One thing can be confirmed by this and that is that it is less about music and more about image.

This is a show that sells the idea of hope to the hopeless. It gives scores of kids the idea that anything is possible, a rags to riches fairytale. Yet in reality those very people are the ones who will remain hopeless and heartbroken.

Auditionees must first jump through a number of hoops to get through to be made a mockery of by the judges. Today is only round one - a queue in the pouring rain for 5 and a half hours, to be herded into an auditorium for a further 2 hours, to be put into one of 30 odd booths with a member of the 'production team'. Their musical credentials is more than questionable; but their eye for entertainment is second to none. 3 minutes in this booth will determine which direction an auditionee's dream will go -sky high or washed up in the gutter.

If you’re lucky or terrible enough to go through to round two then expect to re-sing your audition to another member of a production team. Passing that you face round three which is an interview to finally be rewarded with a golden ticket to perform in front of the celebrity judges.

Contestants are not even paid for any of their time on the show, even if it means they have to give up paid work commitments, a fact fiercely condemned by unionists, Equity, who rightly state that “These programmes may be very popular with the public but are based on exploitation and humiliation of vulnerable people, which cannot be acceptable.”

However, it is these people that big record companies want to tap into - those blindly following an unobtainable dream that could be moulded into a die cast pop star. Contrast this to other genres of music which take a much more proactive approach in terms of gigging, sending out demos and good old fashioned promotion. These are the people that won’t be told what to do - outspoken, unmalleable and unconcerned with profitability.

So if you really believe you have talent then do your homework. You might be prepared to wait up to 12 hours in a queue for a 3 minute chance to impress a clueless intern, but are you prepared to let the success of your dreams come down to luck? Or do you want your talent to speak for itself, like it should? Work hard, demonstrate that obvious perseverance and passion that it is clear you have. Your talent can only be judged by your success and by your peers. Not by being at the right booth at the right time, fitting the right mould this year, being the right age, sex or image.

My soggy self after 5 hours queuing in the rain

Music, like everything in life, is not about what you look like or where you come from. But if you’re willing to hedge your bets, then maybe music is not the industry you should be in.
 
 
 
 
 
(For those wondering: my sister, Jenny and the Vietnamese boy didn't get in; Valium girl did.)